Peanut-Free = Da Way 2 B

My parents and sister flew out for the show in Dallas yesterday. This was their first time seeing the show. "Bring your family to work day" on tour can be stressful but this was all cake. They had a great time which made me quite happy. They've been to the waaaay early Jonas shows back when they made up half the audience and have watched this band come a long way. But their visit's purpose was twofold: My sister will be going to college in Dallas in September, so on my day-off today we visited the campus and sat-in on a lecture. It was my first time in a proper classroom in 3 years. Besides it being waaaay too early in the day (who can pay attention at 11am!?!?) it was really cool to be there and not to mention, be around kids in my age group, which is about as common an occurrence as a snowy day in africa. my sister is stoked to go and i'm stoked for her.

Later in the day we went out to a small mexican restaurant for dinner. i ordered the grilled chicken pasta, which consisted of: (a) grilled chicken (b) pasta. my parents, being parents, asked me if i checked the ingredients to see if it was prepared with any peanut products. i laughed and shrugged cockily while replying that i usually forget to ask and that it's never a big deal. i mean, i eat out 3 meals a day. what do they know? i'm the expert. (Quick side note for the confused: my whole life i've had a severe allergy to peanuts which will result in death if eaten. cool, right?) My parents then take it upon themselves to embarrass me and ask the waitress if there were any peanuts in my grilled chicken pasta. Scarily, she replies that THERE ARE and my meal was on its way out! I ALMOST ATE IT! Apparently it's hip to grill chicken with peanut oil in dallas now. I was stunned and corrected. I settled for the very peanut-free tacos and was a happy little (breathing) boy again.

let's get it together america. i have a vision of a peanut-free nation and it is beautiful. no more reading boxes of ingredients, no more epi-pens, no more Skippy. Mr. Peanut and his elitist company can go bankrupt. Next time you see a planters ad, check out his evil smirk; flaunting his cane and tophat like some pompous fancypants.

Human After All

This will be the last time that i write about being sick. I'm not looking for pity or tears, i'm merely chronicling what its like to walk around feeling like a giant bacteria cell for 3 weeks.

towards the end of the hannah montana tour my allergies began to bother me. john taylor will tell you this is because i am an inferior human and weak. ...he's probably right. four days at home between tours is barely a rest and before i knew it i was back on the road again and my stuffy nose had become part of regular life. but about 3 weeks ago, i started feeling really tired and began coughing up thick dark yellow phlegm. great mental picture, right? to make a short story long, i saw a doctor and he told me i have bronchitis. what made that news even more fun, was that my left ear had clogged up and i could no longer hear out of it! YES!!! so awesome!

i wont bore you with details, but my typical day consisted of: lying in bed until about 3pm, soundcheck, laying down on a couch in the dressing room for more hours, pounding vitamin waters before the show, playing a concert, going back to sleep.

so why was i sick for 3 weeks? what made me better? what is the meaning of life? all great questions, i'm glad you asked. the first doctor i saw gave me an antibiotic that was weak and did nothing to me. the second doctor took x rays of my chest and found this inside my right lung:

he said the snake in my lung was a normal side effect of bronchitis and would eventually go away.

the third doctor i saw gave me another antibiotic to drain the fluid clogging my ear so i could get the equilibrium in my head balanced again. all this did was dehydrate me and send me into my first ever anxiety attack which, like i've been saying all along, was awesome!

the 4th doctor i saw was a genius. dr. k from chicago. he explained to me why i got sick in the first place by drawing diagrams and giving me vocabulary words. i was back in college. he prescribed me an oral steroid. my hope was already gone, but i thanked him and went on stage to play. i kid you not, 24 hours after seeing this doctor and taking the oral steroid, i feel human again. dr. k is a miracle worker. i cant thank this guy enough. my ear popped, my bronchitis is gone, i'm making bad jokes again...basically everything is back to normal. see kids, steroids arent so bad. jose canseco? nbd:

dont worry the steroid i took was very different. i'll still be the same scrawny kid you've come to know and love.
i'd like to thank the doctors i saw in Houston, Los Angeles, Grand Rapids, and Chicago. The nurse and security team in Peoria. As well as the EMS squad in Chicago. There were several occasions when i almost passed out right before the concert was about to start and these people were there to help me get out and play a show. for the hour and a half that i play music on stage every day, it was like i wasnt sick at all. thats not to say i didnt crawl into my bunk after the shows and drink gallons of water and pop pills. but i love my job, and while most people stay home from work when they're ill, working was the best part of my day.

i'm back.

Miracle.

On Sunday we welcomed a new addition to our family. After 3 years of paperwork, phone calls, and prayer my uncle, aunt, and cousin flew to China to adopt their new daughter and sister - Grace Victoria Ming. She immediately surpassed everyone as the best looking member of the family and will without a doubt end up being way cooler than i ever will be. Can't wait to meet her face to face! See you soon cuz...guitar lessons will start soon.

Let's Rodeo, San Antonio

We played at a rodeo yesterday. I am so jealous of cowboys. i just want to be one. for a day, even. These guys are completely fearless and wear spurs. case and point.

Earlier in the day jack and i took a walk to the Alamo. It was great to see that they had kept everything just the way it was back in the 1800's. For instance, the "Ripley's Believe It Or Not" store across from the Alamo. Well done, San Antonio.

I've quarantined myself in my hotel room for today. When someone on tour gets sick, it's not long before the entire tour personnel is sick as dogs. (what does that mean?) At this point, a lot of people on this tour have a cough or feel run-down. it just seems to be going around. its my turn now. yay!

Due to my sinus congestion (no way to make that sound pretty) my left ear is clogged. which is kind of cool - everything that happens to my left sounds like it's 50 feet away. just a little switch up from the norm; i'm ok with it. My body is full of over-the-counter drugs, but hopefully i can get to a doctor tomorrow for the goooooood stuff.

i awoke this morning in Houston, TX and looked out the window of my room on the 8th floor, only to see 2 men staring back at me. could this be a side-effect of Nasonex? no, it was 2 window washers working on my side of the hotel. eh, i guess you had to be there...

i leave you with a photo of my cousin Lance eating a cup in Denver on Sunday:

stay healthy,
greg

Ruling Ryan

i bought a new camera. here's some of the photos from its maiden voyage.

if you come to a show, you'll notice a new member of the band on stage rocking the keyboards and dreadlocks. his name is Ryan Liestman. He hails from Minnesota. He is in a band called The Rule. That makes sense because he also rules.

Trapped in the Tour Bus

At 23:00PM Pacific Time on February 6th, 2008 a small clan of people traveling in six tour buses departed Portland, Oregon. They had no idea of the journey that awaited them...

MIDNIGHT:
Laughs and good times are being had by all as we eat our dinner in the back lounge of the bus. The mashed potatoes are especially soggy tonight. We chat about topics commonly brought up in conversation; fedoras, james bond, and soccer. bob marley songs are heard in the background.

12:30AM:
I retire for the night. certain i'd awake in Salt Lake City for a day off spent about the town.

12:31 - 11:00AM:
I once again have bad dreams. I imagine myself in certain-death situations three times. (1) I'm hanging on a cliff (2) People with guns are breaking into my house (3) Rivers Cuomo has the band trapped in a maze and threatens to unleash a lion to eat us if we dont perform a certain song for him. Sadly, I am not making any of this up.

11:00AM:
I awake not to the salty air of Salt Lake City, but rather in the parking lot of a run-down seedy casino in Oregon. Confused, i ask Colonel Petroff what the dealio is. Apparently one of the buses broke down last night and we've been sitting here for hours. Panic sets in.

12:00PM:
Minor victory! I've found a box of Honey Bunches of Oats on the bus. I begin to cry when someone points out the box is from 1988. We depart and are once again en route to Utah, but are up against the elements of mother nature.

12:30PM:
I'm in the only safe place now, my bunk, and watching Brat Pitt ride a horse on TV. Oxygen supply running low. Things look grim.

2:00PM:
I've forgotten my name. I put my beard and my hair into ponytails, as it has now grown past my shoulders. We're driving up and around mountains in Idaho on snow-covered roads. I fear for my sanity / safety. both of which are out of my hands.

4:00PM:
The putrid stench of unwashed flesh becomes so overbearing that my eyes begin to water. On the bright side, the smell causes me to reminisce of a time i went to the zoo as a child. I am happy.

5:00PM:
The voice of a strange woman i dont recognize appears on the other line of my cell phone. She calls herself "mom" and tells me about a bathroom renovation at her house in New Jersey. This does not ring any bells.

9:00PM:
I begin doing sit-ups and push-ups to stay in shape. I thank God for all of those late nights I spent watching Man VS. Wild when i should've been sleeping. I take a risk and eat a bowl of the cereal. Check pulse.

10:30PM:
I send out a mass e-mail to my friends and family wishing them well in the future years i wont be able to spend with them. I attach a picture of myself with the e-mail, but dont look familiar at all. My face is sunken in and my skin has a pasty-hue. This is the end of the line. Goodbye cruel world.

11:00PM:
ARRIVAL AT HOTEL IN SALT LAKE CITY!! I kiss the muddy ground! After 24 hours on the tour bus i've forgotten how to walk. A good Samaritan gives me a piggyback into the hotel lobby. I am alive.

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The First Day of the Rest of My Life

As the Hannah Montana tour came to a close last night in Miami, the Jonas Brothers' "Look Me in the Eyes" Tour officially began in Tucson, Arizona. (Arizona is also the sight of the forthcoming Giants Superbowl 42 win.) We even stole a couple of crew members from the Hannah tour - Kevin in security, and Cowboy, who is basically like spiderman in boots. yesterday I slept in and woke up peacefully to a beautiful day:
The first day of a tour is always optimistic, kind of like your fist day starting a new job - the grass seems greener, the sky seems bluer, the scorpions seem deadlier, the snakes seem snakier. its all very uplifting stuff. The show itself was great. Being a fan of the opening band myself, I'm going to make sure i watch every Rooney set for the whole tour. they're awesome and if you're coming to a concert, make sure you get there an hour early to watch them. i'm not going to give anything away about our show, but if your head explodes by the end, then we've done our jobs.

today we in vegas baby! not a bad view: