Thursday, November 29, 2007


Today we're in Memphis, which is probably one of my favorite cities in America. About a year and a half ago we spent 2 days here for fourth of july which, when you're touring, is a very long time. we're only here for about 12 hours this time, but it's just as awesome as i remember. all of us went across the street and toured the Gibson factory to see how guitars are born:

My favorite guitar was the new Dave Grohl signature DG-335. The custom metallic color takes 8 layers of paint and can't be removed once its put on. So, in other words, if the color gets messed up at any point, the guitar is trashed. Maybe that's why its on sale for the affordable list price of $4,468.00!

There's been an ongoing rivalry between myself and Miley's front of house tech, Simon, since the tour began. See, Simon is a die-hard West Ham United F.C. hooligan (an english soccer team) who even has West Ham's crest tattooed on his arm. he began quarreling with me after i sported a Manchester United fleece to soundcheck one afternoon. Just for the record, i'm not really even a Man United fan, the jacket was given to me. Anyway, after countless run-ins and sarcastic verbal jabs, another chapter was added in our epic soccer battle when he physically ripped off my Man United jacket from my body today. i have a hunch that this is most likely because i called his West Ham jersey a "dish rag" just yesterday. i love Simon; i think he's a stand up guy and fantastic front of house technician. but now its on Simon. we'll see who's laughing when West Ham loses to Chelsea on Saturday. mwahaha!


Wednesday, November 28, 2007

2 Countries 1 Day

Yesterday, we played on Regis and Kelly in the Bahamas at the rock and roll hour of 9am; literally 100 feet from the Caribbean Sea. We then boarded our flight and went the exact opposite of the Bahamas...North Carolina (no disrespect NC) to perform at the Hannah show that night. We made a quick pit stop before NC in Florida to go through customs. As i filled out my paperwork, i made sure to put my $4.05 claim for foreign merchandise i was bringing back to the USA. Was i smuggling a tropical endangered parrot into the united states? no, but i should have. my big purchase in the Bahamas was a $4.05 magnet:

you can watch the interview and performance on Regis and Kelly Lee right here before it gets taken down:

You may have noticed my sweet new header at the top of this page. It was created by the sweethearts at check them out! I've also added a couple of blog sites you should check out to the right. The first, although very sparingly updated, is my father's "Touring the Road of Life." "Strange Life" and "It's All True" are two very hilarious, very well written accounts of life on the Hannah Montana tour by Kay Hanley and Mike Schmid, respectively. even though we see each other every day either on stage, at catering, or trying to find the dressing rooms, we don't often get to hang as much as we'd like and i go to their blogs often to find out what they've been up to.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Not Much Has Changed But They Lived Underwater

(actual photo)

We're all at the underwater city of Atlantis located deep, deep in the ocean depths on the abysmal plain. Getting there was not easy at all. First we had to get on a shuttle bus. Things went swimmingly (pun!) until, that is, we got pulled over by the cops and they arrested our driver:

Conveniently, a pegasus, let us hop on her back and got us to the underwater city just in time for a day off. You'd be amazed at the beauty and majesty of Atlantis. some of the ancient local stores, once teaming with the citizens of Atlantis, now lay dormant on the ocean floor, save for a few well-dressed tourists:

We've met so many amazing people in Atlantis: Jar Jar Binks, Spock, the cast of Lost, and other mythological characters. Turns out we're not just here for fun (what?) and they had to twist our arm to get us to play Regis and Kelly tomorrow morning. man, worst. job. ever. So pardon my sarcasm and wake up early and watch us play at the underwater city.
Here's an artists' rendering of what Atlantis may have looked like gillions of years ago, before the universe was made; complete with intricate waterways disguised as "lazy rivers" and "slides":

in the bottom left of this photo you can see the semi-circle of white chairs where Regis and, Kelly will take place:

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The Busiest Travel Holiday of the Year

Barry Gibb of BeeGee's fame was at last night's show. Last March i wrote on this blog about how i hit his car with a wiffle ball in a parking lot while he wasn't looking.

He came backstage after the show yesterday, shook my hand and said in his British Isles' accent, "well done."

i'm not sure if he was referring to the concert or the home run smash that i laid into his BMW 8 months ago.

...probably the concert.

i'm home for 24 hours! look out for Good Morning America friday mornin'. happy thanksgiving.


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Alligator Adventure

As i previously wrote, we are in Florida, alligator capital of the universe. After a mid-day bowl of cereal, i walk right across the street from the venue to a small boggy area while i make a phone call for about 15 minutes. As i'm walking back across the street, the security gaurd informs me i was standing within 10 feet from a LIVE WILD ALLIGATOR. if you're from the south where alligator run-ins are as common and aboundant as bad MTV reality shows, then pardon me. i'm from new jersey were the deadliest animal running our streets are squirrels. risking becoming his thanksgiving dinner, i went back and took a few pictures of the beast before he verbally threatened me and swam away:

i filled in his deadly defenses which were hidden underwater:

kids, fear not, the jonas' are safe and even if the beast attacked i'm sure big rob would have snapped it in half.


Monday, November 19, 2007

My weakend in JPEG images

ya see what i did there? i changed one letter. that's how clever and witty i am. i'm asking in advance of you reading this "blog post" aka "blost" that you excuse my execrable sense of humor. i haven't slept in a very long time and i haven't eaten in an even longer time, so i'm in a bizarre mood right now. i'm writing from Tampa, Florida and currently have slept for 3 hours, and i only have one question for myself:

"greg, why don't you recap your weekend using pictures to aid your stories?"

"...ok greg, i will."

early in the depths of Friday morning 10 strangers boarded an aircraft headed to California for a mid-day American Music Awards rehearsal:

afterwards, olivia came over to visit and i gave her a book all about herself (i'm a very deep and introspective person.)

then we met up with Michelle who fitted us for our strapping outfits for the AMAs. as for what i wore: i have one word for you -> ascot. jack insisted i looked like a "gentlemen" in the ascot so hey it looks like i'm fooling someone at least:

olive and i then went to a restaurant called "the melting pot" where they make you cook your own food at your table. i know, i know. i paid to cook my own food. but i'd be lying if i said it wasnt delicious. and trust me, my cooking skills are very very limited. i once put a can of unopened spaghettios in the...nevermind. the next day i put on a pair of clean clothes (thanks to olivia's mom) and we spent my day-off at the Getty center looking at artsy works of artistic pieces of art. despite my face in this picture, i actually had a great time:

on the way back we stopped at Whole Foods and i stocked up on some Enjoy Life products for allergy-prone people like myself. i also got to see my fish-son, Voltaire, for the first time in months! he's starting to look like me around the gills:

this brings me to yesterday, the American Music Awards. olivia and i ate breakfast and had a little bible study. i haven't been able to attend a proper church service since June due to touring so it's always nice to talk about God with somebody else. we then said goodbye to each other for 5 weeks until i see her again in Jersey at Christmas time.

Back at the Nokia theatre, where the AMAs were held, we did our final run through and left to go watch football and get ready for the big show while john told tall tales of a battle between him and a black widow spider making a web in his suitcase that morning. Beyonce walked right by us, which i didn't even notice, but she gave our whole group a collective "hiiiii" to which our photographer Rob Hoffman replied that he could now die happy.

by the end of the night, the Giants had won again and the AMAs were rocked by the jonas. john taylor, flawless, and jon poutney looking confident to take on the AMAs:

we immediately left for the airport and boarded our red eye flight to Tampa. i took a picture of me looking very tired in the LAX restroom for documentation purposes:

i sat next to a monk so needless to say he was quiet and i got roughly 3 solid hours of sleep for the night. our flight landed in Tampa at 5:55am. we drove to the hotel, i got to my room, and as i looked out my window i realized i didnt know what day it was and whether the sun was rising or setting:

we have a show tonight back with Hannah Montana. good news is i just talked to mama and there's pumpkin pie waiting for me at home...

Friday, November 16, 2007

Joe Jonas on South Park

You know you've finally made it when your poster is on a fictional cartoon character's wall. After the concert last night, a few of us were watching a new episode of South Park on the bus when all of a sudden a face we all recognize makes a graceful cameo:

in other news, check out this awesome new band: these guys look legit. but where's their fake backing band?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The Ponemaster visits Fort Worthless

This little menace you're looking at here is the originator of the word "poned." It happened by a chance encounter last summer when he strolled onto our tour bus and started making fun of our production manager. no one knew who he was, why or even how he got on our bus. but as the legend goes, he began to verbally berate and belittle a 35 year old man who he didn't know at all; all the while yelling at the top of his lungs "OOOHHH!!!! YOU JUST GOT PONED!!!" to this very day, i have never seen anything like it. at one point our production manager said to him, "if i hear another word out of you, i'm kicking you off this bus." to which the Ponemaster counteracted with, "if i pone you one more time, it'll be a new world record." his pones covered a wide range of topics, including, but not limited to: your mom, ugliness, weight, age, your job...virtually anything. He said the word "poned" was formed as a combination of other diss words such as "punk'd" "burned" "owned" "schooled" etc. he is truly a special kid. It took practically no time for us to think this was absolutely hilarious and adopt the word into our vernacular and it hasn't left since. in fact, it's only spread to the rest of america. here's a photo i took of POPSTAR magazine just last month when PONED was on the front cover:

this young man is obviously a genius and the use of his word is as prevalent today as its ever been in our camp. he came to watch the show today. it was an honor to play for him...

ps - i actually like Fort Worth but calling it Fort Worthless was just too good to pass up. sorry Forth Wortheners.


Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Mute Math Again

After our show in Houston on Sunday, we found out Mute Math had a show as well right down the street. So i ate wings and watched Peyton Manning give the worst football performance of his life then walked over to the venue. Apparently this was the last show of Mute Math's 50-date tour. Their live arrangements are what sets them apart from other ambient melodic rock acts. More specifically, they hit things on stage; whether its a hi-hat, guitar, drum seat, or florescent lights. as dumb as that sounds, it was actually really impressive. to my disappointment they didnt perform any songs backwards. but it was nice to watch someone else play music for a change.

a Texan restroom:


Thursday, November 8, 2007

Staples and Knitting

I remember the first time we ever played in LA. its was the summer of 2005 and we played in the arcade at Jillians. The 20 people who were there either worked for Columbia records or were friends with a girl we met on the plane and invited to the show. Last night we had another doubleheader: The Hannah Montana tour at the Staples Center and then a show immediately following at the Knitting Factory. it was one of our best shows i think we've ever played and even performed a brand new song we just worked out in soundcheck that afternoon.
I had a red bull, 2 milkshakes, and a cup of coffee (all of which i almost never drink) to give me the boost i needed. the sugar rush was incredible and the crash later that night into my bunk was even better.

we're in the middle of a string of dates, like 17 or something, all in a row. i'm begining to feel like this guy, except with a bass guitar instead:

Sunday, November 4, 2007

iSteve Jobs

*this photo was taken with an iPhone*

today was "bring your ultra-successful software entrepreneur hero to work day."

maybe next year, bill gates.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Parallel Universes Collide / Double Header

Today's day began at 6:30am when we loaded into the House of Blues in San Diego for our 11am matinée show. When we got there, we realized the band playing that night was none other than our mmmboppin' predecessors HANSON. unfortunately, no battle dancing took place. Some fans had been lined up outside since 3pm the previous day! Hanson and Jonas fans living in harmony. aww

Kids of the Future
Just Friends
Goodnight and Goodbye
Hello Beautiful
That's Just the Way We Roll
Still In Love
Hold On

i hope this doesn't sound wrong, because there is no other feeling like playing to a sold out arena crowd, but it was amazing playing for a packed club and feeding off the energy of kids 5 feet away from you, as opposed to a hundred yards. anyway, immediately after the matinée in San Diego we drove to Anaheim for the 4pm Hannah Montana show. After a brief nap, we got up and rocked the same house where the Mighty Ducks won the Stanley Cup last year. (quack!) i was really hoping Emilio Estevez was going to show up in the dressing room and give us a tear jerking pump-up speech before the show. didn't happen.

tonight's 90's celebrity parent concert attendee: Cindy Crawford

Friday, November 2, 2007


Olivia drove all the way from LA today to hang out on my day off in San Diego which is Spanish for, "this joke is very old." we decided to go to the zoo with jack to see some real-life animal crackers.

jack confronted his fear of snakes:

i learned that hippos are basically underwater elephants:

i'm not sure what animal she is trying to imitate here:

two turtles were having sex just to the right of where this photo was taken. i respected their privacy. i am not a pornographer.

the one on the left looks...different.

save the pandas

on more than one occasion we found ourselves wondering when the animals were going to do something interesting rather than just lay there looking bored. i wonder sometimes if God is thinking the same thing about us.