Monday, December 10, 2007

14 days in a row and counting

At what point does a tour bus become a pirate ship? If you’re like me, you’ve lost precious hours of sleep pondering this great question of life too. Jon Bon Jovi compared it to a steel horse but last night I felt more like Noah than John Wayne. We left Indianapolis, fresh from overindulgence at Steak-n-shake, and headed to Atlanta for another non-Hannah radio festival. This time with Avril Levigne. I remember covering her song “complicated” once when I was in high school. I can’t really figure out why I would do that. My band was probably playing a sweet sixteen at the time and we thought girls would like it. But ok enough about Avril and more about pirate ships. You see, as we traveled in the night through middle America, our bus was rocking back and forth on the high seas – ‘Perfect Storm’ style. This is no knock against our bus driver – in fact he’s brilliant – but it was raining like we were prepping the set for the straight-to-DVD Waterworld 2 movie. I can’t be sure, but the waters may have risen and overtaken our wheels, in which case we officially and legally became a ship. I was getting knocked around into tons of stuff as I walked through the yacht to the back lounge after another 3-hour Arrested Development DVD marathon. I swung the door to the bunk area open; I found myself in complete darkness and thrown like a rag doll back and forth down the narrow hallway. What’s this? A tee shirt? A sock? A sock puppet?! I’m feeling my way through to get to the back lounge. I think I just hit Yogi’s foot. Sorry Gurt. Now MY foot is caught on John’s blanket and I accidentally pull on it. He probably doesn’t notice. Hope he does, though. In the back lounge I have a small closet area pictured below:

Packing for tour is never easy. Most of the time tours get extended and you end up staying on the road longer than you originally planned. For this tour I had to pack 3 months into 2 suitcases, whose contents threw up into this 1 closet. Which would explain why you could see my multi-layered winter coat inches away from my bathing suit. Surprisingly, HOTlanta lived up to its nickname. We’ve had snow at the past few shows, but today caught me off guard with some nice weather. You know my parents met when my mom playfully threw a snowball at my dad to get his attention? This is way more romantic-comedy than how my grandparents met, which was at a White Castle. Actually now that I think about it, perhaps the latter is more romantic-comedy…
All in all, I like being a pirate. The tour bus-turned-pirate ship has a way of rocking you to sleep like an infant. …or in my case a grown man with a mother who has very strong arms. Uhhh, you get the idea. I’ve just convinced myself to go to sleep. The ship is now taking off on another 6+ hour trip to Ohio.



  1. hahaha, your blogs make me laugh. I'm glad you're having a good time on your pirate ship/tour bus/steel horse.

  2. did you know that there is an actual "national talk like a pirate day"? i certainly had fun, but you missed it. unless, of course, you were already aware of this marvelous holiday!

  3. Haha, who hasn't pondered that question that haunts oh so many people over the course of history. you probably didn't know pirates once pondered at what point does a pirate ship become a tour bus? yeah, they existed back then. We just didn't know it.

    Your blogs are hilarious. I love reading them.

  4. arrested development is the GREATEST show ever hahaha. your blogs make me crack up so much.

  5. Suitcases seem to have a bad habit of exploding. We saw you at Jingle Jam tonight and about had heart attacks when we saw you standing off to the side of the stage, the people around us thought we were crazy. Y'all did an amazing job tonight. Hope your trip to Ohio is safe!

  6. your blogs are always quite entertaining. keep them up so i can keep reading them, please! hope the rest of your tour goes safe and sound.

  7. hahaha all of your blogs are so real and funny! it makes everyone realize you guys are real human beings with super duper awesome jobs!

  8. dont you ever give me crap again for having a messy car/room/purse ...that closet is a disgrace!!!!
    ah luhv yew

  9. I saw you tonight at Jingle Jam, and I just wanted to let you know how amazing you were. My friend and I were waving to you like lunatics from the 2nd row (we had those crazy shirts w/ the shiny ribbon, if you could see). Have a safe trip to Ohio! I can't wait to read more and be oh so entertained.

    - Ivy

  10. Forget playing guitar/bass : you really oughta be an author, Garbo. It is so fun to read what you have to say. Although, I must say I was hoping you'd writing something about Milwaukee, just to make the freezing cold weekend worthwhile (not that it wasn't, I've just had better Jonas-related weekends).

  11. That is the perfect day right there! pirate ships and arrested developement! shesss!!!

  12. lol, you and the band should cover "Complicated" by Avril! that'd be fun to watch now!

    also, nice closet :) I could never do 3 months worth of clothes in 2 suitcases! kudos

    as the verious people who posted before me, nice blog! it's funny :)

  13. youre blogs are seriously amazing.
    youre like my role model :)
    no kiding.
    ill be at the rochester verison performance,
    but you wont be there cause its only acoustic :(
    but i made a shirt that im going to wear
    and it says
    really big on it :)
    & i made a biiig poster that says i<3 garbo on it.
    well keep writing,
    its amazing!!

    Did you even know this many people read your blog?
    This is probably my favorite one around.
    Love to see your adventures when I log on, Garbo.
    It's like pouring out a bowl of cereal and finding a prize you didn't know about.
    Keep it real, Johnny Depp.

  15. I've always wanted to be a pirate. I've never eaten at a white castel. Do they still have those ? Enlighten me.

    And im glad to see comments are up, i've been reading this ages and havent been able to share my thoughts on gun toting aligators. What a shame.

    I thought i'd let you know that i was screaming "GARBO!" at the top of my lungs at jingle bell bash in seattle. You seemed to be rather distracted, cause i was only about 35 feet away. All my friends though it was insane. They obviously didnt know you were a real live pirate.


  16. ahh, gg, that was most highly entertaining. And now my mind really is pondering how a bus-turned-pirate ship really works. Thanks for that. Did you have fun in Milwaukee on Friday? At least y'all weren't in the mosh pit in the area by the stage. Now THAT was crazyy! But y'all did great!

  17. nice blog dude i'm glad you're having a fun time. being on tour would probably be a pain in the butt for me. keep up the inspiration, i'm getting a bass for christmas i hope. one day i will challenge you. then we'll see who will get pwnt/pwned/poned.

  18. ahh i LOVE arrested development. i could watch it for days on end. and your blog was sooooo hilarious!!!

  19. Did you stay at the Conrad in Indy? I thought I saw tour buses outside when I went out to breakfast. If so I really hope you didn't have to hear the sirens and what not that Jamal Tinsley brought!

  20. haha, Garbo, I love your blog! You crack me up :]
    It's about 80 degrees everyday here in southern Mississippi. I loved your post about New Orleans, I love that city. And Pirate ships pone. :]

  21. what they said.

    i want to be on a pirate ship. yes, I do. Maybe you haven't turned on blog comments because of the amount of people who'd like to comment, but anyway...your blog entertains me, and when a couple days go by and nothing is on here I get withdrawl. hahacrazy.

  22. Your Blog never fails to give me a quick fix of hilarity! Can't wait to hear more about the goings on during the tour! Ciao =]

  23. greg. you are my hero.
    nuff said.

  24. you don't happen to know a Todd do you?

  25. Oddly enough, I was just watching the new pirates movie and came over and read you're blog. It made me laugh.
    Rocking back and forth on a ship actually sounds exciting. Good luck in Ohio, if aren't already there.
    Haha, i'll be sure to catch the next entry. :)

  26. GARBO! lol.

    i always look forward to reading your blogs. they make me smile. :)
    toughin out the storm! thats the way to do it! haha!

    by the way, pirates pone. lol. :)


  27. lol garbo u r hilarious all of your blogs r awesome i get to see u and those amazing jobros in feb:) im so excited i cant wait it will be my 3rd time to c yall

  28. Hey Garbo! Your blog is amazing...SO FUNNY! I just wanted to let you know that your blog ALWAYS makes me laugh. I love how random it is. =P
    I also wanted to let you know that the fake Jonas Brothers released their first single, "That's Just the Way We Rock." I could not stop laughing.
    Have a great day!! <33

  29. hey garbo!
    its sara, bre, and sarah!
    hope your having fun on the pirate ship! haha.

  30. lol
    i was at that concert monday.
    i actually thought it was a little cold.
    but i've lived in south carolina my whole life and haven't seen snow in the last 6 years. well, with the exception of one time but it didn't stick.

  31. I know what you mean by the whole strong mom rocking you to sleep thing. I feel the same way in my car.. only when my dad drives.

    Doesn't the different climates of all the places you go to make you want wish that those 3 in 1 pants (the ones you can zip off to be a long pants, capris, and shorts) were in style again?

    hope to hear from you again soon! <3

  32. Wow. I'm not sure if I am blind, or if the "Post a Comment" thing just randomly popped up. haha but I've been a constant reader of your blogs for the past...I'm not even sure how long anymore.

    Your blog is amazing! I can relate to everything(besides the fact that I'm not famous, & girls from all over the world aren't crazy about me) I actually took your Myspace advice (how it's nice to be off Myspace for a week) & I sadly dissagree. I thought I was going to die the week & a half I couldn't get online.

    While reading your description of being randomly thrown around in the dark on your "pirate ship", I could actual imagine you falling into things. Including John's blanket. :D
    Can't wait to read again

  33. Garbo, your blogs are always the thing that makes me laugh from the point to when I log onto the computer, it's the first thing I go to. I love how you write, it's so funny. Keep it up! :)

    Garbo Pones

  34. haha! well at least you're having fun!

    does this mean we should all buy you guys pirate bandanas, swords, wooden legs and eyepatches? :)

  35. garbo, you're my hero.
    your blogs are sometimes the only things that can make me laugh when i have a bad day.
    haha =]

    <3 Jocey

  36. garboo!
    ok, i went to jonas/hannh's show in cincinnati. and when i saw you on stage, i yelled your name so loud! everyone around looked at me like, who are you talking about?!

    hahah. i love your blog its awesome. and your pretty awesome yourself.

  37. OMJ we can finally post comments!!! I LOVE UR blog! its sooo hilarious!! it makes me laugh alll the i can see basically wat u guys do "behind the scenes." u are soo funny! did u even know that this many people read ur blog??? anyways i finally found the video of nick at the House of Blues where he added a whole nother verse. once i realized it was different from the original i started screamin "THIS IS THE VIDEO GARBO WAS TALKIN ABOUT!" lol

    What a playa.

  39. i love your blog (: it makes me laugghh. and it's always good to hear how the bands doingg. i saw you guys in chicago on the 8th. you're all awesome (:

  40. hey greg. i remember seeing you guys here in jersey in august. i have a feeling that you're from bergen county new jersey too...since i remember you blogging about going to the apple store here. it's snowing here in jersey. i can't wait for you guys to come here even though i might not be able to catch a show. catchyalater.

  41. Feel free to update your blog any day now, Gregg.

    Give Boston a big sloppy kiss from me, please.


  42. wow. someone's popular. 46 comments? impressive.

    and PIRATES. (!!!)
    you slay me.

    anyways, i was incredibly delighted when my cousin sent me a link to this blog of yours.

    your posts have enlightened me and i've started one of my own. yours hands down pones mine, but mine's currently satisfactory.

    have a fantastic holiday =)

  43. This made me laugh. Ha ha have a merry Christmas!!!


  44. congrats on going platinum! [:

  45. hahaha your blogs are always entertaining.

  46. greg!its been such a long time since youve posted a blog! please post again so I can laugh!!

  47. p.s. your the awesomest bassist in the world
    ...and i met you in sf! how exciting!

  48. Brilliant..all your blogs are hilarious! Glad the tour is going well. Keep on blogging :P

  49. Garbo, you have a whole fan club over on facebook.

  50. i wanted to comment your blog from today (dec 22) but i can't figure out how. i even made a blogspot account just so i could. but comments on teh dec 22 blog because i am too blogspot illiterate to figure out how to post there:

    you are definetly correct about the dec 30 hartford show last year mostly being drunk hockey fans BUT I can guarantee there were more than 50 people there to see you guys. Radio Disney has been having the Jingle Jam show there for 3 years and it's ridiculous because people who go to see the show usually don't care about hockey and vice versa. However, this was the first Jonas show that I went to where I realized everything was changing. I had never seen such a crowd come for the Jingle Jam show as they did for Jonas. In fact, this year, the Jingle Jam show isn't even coming to Hartford and I'm convinced it's because of how crazy it was with Jonas fans last year.

    ....that's all.

  51. HI! i had such a hard time finding the daft punk cd...i laughed when i read that...actually i never really listened to the jonas brothers before, but my friend alicia who is obsessed told me that you wrote about daft punk...which i am obsessed i checked it out...MERRY CHRISTMAS and feel better :)

  52. hey though I don't know you, I am a HUGE fan of your blog posts. they truly make my day. =] well anyways, you're probably not going to read this, but if you do, i think you should watch "In God's Name". it was on yesterday on CBS. well thats all. keep up your comedic ability. it is quite ammusing

  53. Merry Christmas! Your blogs make us laugh. I hope you are enjoying writing them as much as we are reading them. Happy New Year!

  54. oh wow garbo,
    you never cease to amaze me.

  55. Hey Garbo!! I SAW YOU ON ABC FOR NEW YEARS!! =] I jumped up on the couch and yelled "THATS GARBO!!" just to inform you! But anyway!! I hope you guys have a blast at Sacramento. I was planning to go and see the show, but on the 30th of December, we had some personal familly stuff occur, and we had to go out of town on the 2nd OF ALL DAYS!! Sooo lets just say I stayed up all night crying myself to sleep because I couldnt see you guys! Big Fan, God brought you guys in my life to change it, and I am greatful eversince! Sooo have fun and come back to Sacramento (or Roseville where I live) soon so I can see you. And if you guys are looking for somewhere good to eat, Eastern Maxx Buffet is REALLY good food! Soo go there! Have fun! Love God! Have a great life!

    -Leah Hansen

  56. Haha. You guys went out to eat in Indy? Why wasn't I invited! haha!

    And how much sleep DO you guys get in one night?

  57. I love your blog. I just found it about an hour ago. And I've been reading all of the posts. Yeah, I don't really have nothing else to do. lol. But it's fun to read!
    Wow. That would be alot of fun to always be on the road. I love traveling.
    Anyway, I'm going to continue to read old posts. :)

  58. Garbo, why are you so awesome?
    You are such a winner.

    i love your blogs! they are amazing!!!!!!!!!!

    I got to see you yesterday at Jimmy Kimmel Live, and it was awesome! I dont know if you remeber that random girl yelling to you at soundcheck... but that was me!

    keep rocking that bass!